Seek 2015

For this New Year, I had the great opportunity to begin it on a retreat with God. I signed up for the SEEK conference, which is a Catholic retreat with speakers talking about the faith. There were 10,000 people there and it was amazing praying with all of these people. It’s always a really moving experience to attend mass and pray with such a large crowd. It reminds me of the bible verse that basically says “Where two or more are gathered, I am there” (not a direct quote, but I remember reading it somewhere in the bible).

What I learned from this retreat is that I really should let go and let God. It’s given me more peace to just sit down and just say “ok God, what do you want me to do?” While His message isn’t always clear, and sometimes takes some prayer and discernment before it can be interpreted, I have faith that God will communicate to me in some way. God has always been there for me in my life (different from given me whatever I wanted), and I’ve seen how God has worked in my life throughout the years. Even the painful experiences taught me lessons and made me into a more compassionate person today.

The major reason I signed up for this conference was because of something that happened to me in my first semester of nursing school. I was praying in front of the tabernacle, and I heard this voice say “You’re not going to become a nurse.” I remember crying and replying, but I worked so hard to get into nursing school! The only way I would quit was if I failed a class. Guess what happened? I failed a class that semester (which left me shocked and surprised because I never failed a class. I also wasn’t expecting to fail because the grading was really confusing and I didn’t think I was doing THAT bad). Later on when I was making up the class and working on my minors (I have a minor in art and certificate in nutrition), I started looking at other majors. When I mentioned to my mom about quitting nursing school, she told me not to and that if I quit that my dad would cry himself to sleep every night. I stayed, but I was really miserable. The words kept bothering me, and the only time I felt at peace was when I told myself that I would not become a nurse. Later on I ended up taking some courses out of order because of the class I had failed earlier. In order to graduate earlier, I had to take the NCLEX prep course before I took medical surgical part2. I was really disadvantaged, and was not prepared for the test taking because I had not had the lectures for medical surgical (part 2). I begged God to just pass. It didn’t matter if I became a nurse or not. My grades started to improve in the course, and I went from fear of failing, to passing the final exam with flying colors! (I also texted every Catholic friend on my phone and asked them to pray for me the day of my final)

Later on I had doubts once again. I asked God that if he truly did not want me to become a nurse that my clinical instructor tell me at the end of the semester that she almost failed me, but decided not to. She basically said those words. That’s when I knew for sure I couldn’t stay in nursing. I just graduated with a degree in nursing, but have faith that God will lead me to wherever he wants me to be in life. Even if it isn’t nursing. I have some ideas on my next steps, but still want to pray about it. I think it may have something to do with art? When I find out I’ll write about it. Unless it’s boring, than maybe not.

Since it’s a new year, my spiritual goals for this year will be:

-Read the bible more. It is a great book, whether used for historical purposes or a handbook for living. It’s a mix of history, culture/tradition and also a guidebook. I also want to know more about the background, what the different authors are, etc.

-Pray the rosary daily

-Begin fasting Wednesdays and Fridays

-Write faith articles for my website every Sunday or whenever I feel inspired to do so

 

What are lessons you learned from God? Do you have any spiritual goals? Feel free to leave a comment below.

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